Thought Provoking...

What's it all about?

Helen Reddy sang this from the heart...what is it all about? I am not sure, all that I do know is that everywhere I turn right now...there is a pushing for me to work through and figure this all out. I am reading the new Oprah book, A New Earth and while I like parts of it, other parts are just annoying. What IS it all about? I wonder as I watch the YouTube video of a man, with three small children who is dying. He talks about life in terms of dreams and living to fulfill those dreams...but he is leaving behind the greatest dreams of all...his children. As I watch this I am frightened that I am wasting life. I am wasting moments where I need to be present, but am not because I am so caught up in what is or isn't or could or should or would be!
I see this more clearly as I try to be mindful, to live in the moment, to discover how to just "be". As much as I crave this enlightenment, the truth is that there are more moments that I am not in the moment. That is just the way it is. Not that this can't change...but really...what IS it all about? The constant battle to discover and find true peace in life has been a quest I have been on for years. Those rare moments when I am in the moment and am feeling nothing but a sense of calm and nothingness in a way. I want more of that...but this book says that by wanting more it is just the ego talking and well....there I am in the midst of a big spiral wondering...what is it all about?
I am not sure. All that I am sure about is that I need to be on this quest right now. It is part of my "january" mood that keeps me reflective and thinking and wondering....last year the theme was truth. What is truth? I read everything I could get my hands on about truth, but not one of them spoke to this idea in the way this book does! To read this book, there really is no truth. There are only the individual stories that we all make up to feed ourselves, to create our individual identities, to continue to define ourselves in terms of roles, society, groups and all of this just to feed the damned ego...to create what we want to see as a meaningful life. And yet life is not what we do, it is just being.
So I am off to just "be" for as long as I can before I have to get some exercise, to feel healthy, to walk the dog, to take care of the kids to entertain us all and well, never mind the laundry and the house that is crawling with dust bunnies. But of course, amidst all of this...can I just be? Perhaps that is what it is all about!! Who knows!!