Day 8 Poetry Project

I hadn't heard this before today but love the idea of living your DASH!!

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

Make Every Moment Matter – Live Your Dash

Day 7 Poetry Project

Expectation lives
 on the other side
of disappointment

the rootedness
of conflict
and dispute

Subtly entering
your neighborhood
and quickly become
the most popular people
on the street

And before
you even know it
they have moved in
are couch slouching
feet firmly  poised
on the coffee table
demanding libations
and snacks

And you wonder...
just how
THAT happened
without  noticing
even one footfall
         one entrance
           one invitation

And you wonder
just what it will take
to get them to leave
this
time.

Poetry Project Day 6: Kitchen Window Wondering

This morning I sit in my warm cozy kitchen looking out on what appears to be a gorgeous day, but the whipping of the wind and the shaking of the windows tells me otherwise.  And so I attempt to sketch what I see...because part of poetry is learning to see with new eyes...but as you can see I am no artist. And I wonder...what allows some to see with such great perspective and others, like me to struggle so?
And as I sketch anger stomps around me threatening to take over my peaceful place of noticing, like an annoying toddler that keeps pulling and tugging on your arm while you are one the phone.  And so the day reflects what is happening both inside and out as the blowing angry winds keeping spring at bay for yet another day.

Day 5 Poetry Project

Slice of Night

 A slice of night
dangling in the sky
Bluebird sky
a glorious sky

So much so
that even the
moon
lingers
into the day

to be a part
of the sol party
that nobody
should
miss

I wrote this about the sliver of the moon that was still out while we were skiing.  I attempted to capture it in pictures, but it seems to have disappeared in the downloading process.

Day 4 Poetry Project: Bluebird Day

I spent this day on the glorious slopes of Mount Sunapee in New Hampshire.  It was THE most perfect day of skiing EVER!!  I went with my sister Lisa and found myself wishing I had a pen as lines and phrases danced through my head in awe of the perfect beauty around me.  And then she said it is the perfect  Bluebird Day....

Bluebird Day

It's a bluebird day she says

A what?

A bluebird day at the mountain
you know, not a cloud in the sky kind
of perfect bluebird day?

nope she replies, never
heard that before as she
tucks it away it quickly
becomes one of her favorite
new phrases

And then they are off
for yet another bluebird day
at
the Mountain.

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My sister's response to this post!  Love it!!


The thing for me about poetry
is that I think it should rhyme
not occasionally or once in a blue moon
but absolutely all of the time

I like poetry that has a rhythm
a cadence, a spring in its step
so that while you are reading it slowly
it puts a bounce in your step

The bluebird sky was amazing
the skiing as flawless as the sky
the waning moon in the distance
was winking one bleary eye

For it was the same moon that kept me
awake for hours in bed
the pull of that moon was fantastic
I felt a bit over my head

So I'm not sorry that it has faded
and merged into the magnificent blue
Because if it had kept me up one more night
I would have been following you!

Day 3 Poetry Project

Noticings...I find myself noticing the small things around me simply because I am intentionally thinking about writing and more specifically about lines of poetry.  Here is what came to me after a walk in the woods...

Woods Walking

the hard slippery path
       of winter's lingering
spotted and speckled with
       patches of soft spring

pussy willows purposefully
       pushing
out
saying hello to the
          mud-stained puppies
and people passing by

I long to pick the pussy willows
        bring spring into my home
forcing away
         the long winter's remnants

throw open the windows
        come in! the outside
inside and out!

Day 2 of Poetry Project

Today, I begin feeling the need to apologize to you, my personal blog, which has been completely abandoned since I started my blog on education.  Compartmentalizing my life in terms of me and  my passion for learning and teaching was a hard one, but at the same time it was very freeing.  I love my blog on education, http://conversationeducation.wordpress.com/,  (check it out!) because it is a place where I play out my fantasy of being a weekly  columnist: something that I have always wanted to be.  That said it is so great to be back here and just thinking...and being just me, the person.

And so today's poem is from a new children's book of poetry by Amy Ludwig VanDerwater, Forest Has a Song.  You can find it here:  http://www.amylv.com/p/forest-has-song.html.  It is a fabulous collection of poetry, especially to use with kids.  Her poem, invitation, reminds me of one of my all time favorite poems, A New Day.

Invitation

Today
I heard
a pinecone fall.
I smell
a spicy breeze.
I see
Forest
wildly waving
rows of
friendly trees.

I’m here.
Come visit.
Please?

–Amy Ludwig VanDerwater, all rights reserved

A New Day

                      by Tomasen

silence

stillness
the world's eyes opening
squinting
     stretching before
                    my
                        eyes
the sacred yawn of morn
brings a solitude
             of newness
hope, renewal and life

the woods
       my magical forest
with twinkling eyes
                        winking
surrounding me
as we usher in the
day as
one

Funny how reading someone else's poetry can bring you back to your own.  And now I am off to my magical forest to take Ruby Roo for her daily walk.  I wonder what I might see today!!

A Poem A Day Project

April 1, 1013

I begin this project with a poem by Mary Oliver as it is exactly what I would like to do for the month of April...to slow down, to notice, and to appreciate all this is around me.  There are SO many poetry projects happening this month that after I searched through the blogs I love I was a bit overwhelmed.  Many are combining poetry with art and images.  And I get all excited and think I want to do that too!  But in an effort to simplify I have allowed myself to do what comes organically each and every day.  And so on this first day...Mary Oliver makes me think about what I want to do with this one wild and precious life.  Part of what I want to do is to cultivate that artistic side of myself that is hidden underneath all of the daily tasks and lists of things to do!

So here goes...

The Summer Day by Mary Oliver

Who made the world?

Who made the swan, and the black bear?

Who made the grasshopper?

This grasshopper, I mean-

the one who has flung herself out of the grass,

the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,

who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-

who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.

Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.

Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.

I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down

into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,

how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,

which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?

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Balance

Balance...                                        

It is always there

hanging in the balance.

The here and the now

waiting to be siezed.

Weighing the consequences

teetering on the edge

of sanity

only a thread keeping you afloat

with each step comes

another revelation

on the uncertain

tightrope of life.

One wrong misstep

the endless plunge

trusting

hoping

knowing

that no matter what

the inability to make

any more

becomes your heaviest load

the agony of hanging in the

balance

larger than life

living for others

waiting for the line

to snap for you

when really

all you have to

do is leap

and trust

and

the

rest

will

come

with pain

tolerable pain

and change

very real

and

honest

and

open

change...

The Hills Are Alive

With the sound of music...the kind of music that speaks to me from every cell in my aching body.  Just up at 9 this morning after a glorious 26 hours out in the wilderness of our very own White Mountains where we hiked and spent the night in The AMC Greenleaf Hut looking out on the massive Mount Lafayette that we had just partially descended  to the hut.  But I get ahead of myself.

You see this all began at dinner with friends one night when I mentioned this was something I had always wanted to do.  And so we did it!  It was THAT simple.  We picked a date, called the AMC and made a plan about a month away...giving some of us time to "get in shape" for the endeavor.  And so this hike loomed ahead of me and the closer it got the more nervous I became.  Why?  I kept asking myself...why am I so nervous?  I was nervous because the last time I took on such a hike was easily over 20 years ago..in the pre -marriage, pre-kids era of my life and while I have done numerous day hikes since, an overnighter had been a thing of the past!

And so I did what all logical people do when in training...I went marathon shopping!!  I bought new boots, because my old ones were worn out and giving me blisters on my practice hikes up Kearsarge and the Cascades.  I bought the perfect sized itty bitty backpack complete with a bladder, because I have never had one and the smaller it was the less I had to carry!   I bought...well my mother actually bought me trekking poles for my early Christmas present!  And although I thought I was all shopped out, the idea of actual hiking pants became more and more needed the closer the hike came.  Yes, I was shopped out and now I was ready?  Right?
Nope.

 I also started interval training with a strength component and a cardio component that included sprints.  Now if you know anything about me at ALL you know that I HATE to run so running as fast as I can does not make it any easier or better.  You see, people with big boobs just shouldn't have to do sprints.  They hurt.  Or as my son, Zachary seems to think when I was telling him about my daily workout asked, "did anyone see you sprinting?"  the sheer horror on his face was absolutely hilarious.  I shrugged my shoulders not knowing as he proclaimed, "Mom, women over 40 just shouldn't sprint!"  And while I know this sounds sexist, I also understood that he specifically meant me and my bouncing boobs.  Oh the horror of one of his friends actually seeing me!  But I digress.  I pushed on in my training and was more faithful than an old dog.  I began to feel stronger, but still was concerned I was not strong enough in my 48 year old bones to hack the hike that loomed on the horizon.  And in week 4 of my training I found myself feeling worse instead of better.

And so I started to develop some ailments in the last week before our ascent.  Suddenly I was feeling my knees as I was walking down the stairs and well, my ankle found a hitch in itself and was that some actual swelling down around my left ankle? Suddenly the seasonal allergies were worse than ever.  "Nope", I thought to myself, "I am not going to be able to do this"  I looked at the 10 day forecast and saw there was a 30% chance or is that 50% chance of rain on Sunday?    And I thought to myself, "NO way am I doing something this major in the rain!"  And the negative thoughts and bodily ailments continued as I wondered what had happened to my adventurous soul who used to just get up and go out and DO things without any other thoughts.  Where is she and why is this worrying sorry sac of an achy soul taking over?  Was it my mind, body, spirit or all 3 thinking of taking this one and sitting on the bench?  But I was committed and the closer the date came the better the forecast got and the more I realized that no matter what ache, pain, ailment, thoughts, ideas. doubts, fears that I had...more than anything I HAD to go for it!!  And I did.

We started out on the Falling Waters Trail and hiked up to Mount Haystack.  This is THE most gorgeous trail, particularly in the beginning where you are following the river and you weave back and forth across it.  Typically I am always a nervous nellie crossing rivers, but with my trusty new poles, I found my confidence was high and crossing was actually quite easy!!  Upward and onward you begin to meet the "falling waters" the trail is named after as you discover one waterfall after another.  Hiking with the sound of the water cascading in the background is soothing and inspiring as the energy from the water spurred me on and the cool breeze kept us all the perfect temperature.

We began our hike at about 10:30 and the beginning of this trail was kind.  It was steep in parts, but really quite forgiving as it eases you into the steeper parts to come.  We stopped for water breaks and an occasional handful of gorp and then pressed on at a good pace...well good for me anyway as I was often the one in the lead!!  This too was a new posture for me as in all of my outdoor adventures,  whether skiing or hiking, I prefer to bring up the back of the pack.  Not sure why, but for some reason everyone kept urging me to the front and with my poles to help heft me up every steep rock I just went with it.  My hiking companions were kind, keeping me in mind with my worries and fears and allowing me to set the pace without feeling the need to hurry on.  THIS was priceless and I didn't even realize how much so until this moment.  We finally stopped for a lunch break at Sliding rock, a brief shoot off the trail with a fabulous view.  We gobbled down our sandwiches and took some time to rest and enjoy on this rock ledge the gorgeous views all around.  Here is Hank resting it up!

After this lunch break things really started to rev up and get steep.  But honestly it never got as steep as I had feared as memories from 20 years ago hiking out Mount Flume loomed in my mind.  It was steep, but it was doable.  We took our time and it was just fine.  As we climbed I wondered to myself, "what in the hell were you so worried about?"  And onward we pressed , the steepest of steeps in this loop.  Here are Lila and Hank coming up a steeper part.

We finally hit the alpine zone and before I knew it we were coming to the top.  Once you cross over the tree line things everywhere change around you and the excitement of almost being there begins to take over as I found myself moving faster and faster to get there!!  At this point Jeff lurched into a sprint in an effort to get there first.  The guys were gone and I found myself lingering just to begin to look at the views that were emerging.  In no time we had summited Mount Haystack.  Here we are at the top of our first peak of the day!!

Lila and I at Peak number one, Mt. Haystack!!

Mt Lincoln in the distance.

Behind us you can see Mount Lincoln which was our second Peak of the day.  As we moved along the ridge we were amazed at the sheer beauty and clarity of the day.  It was like being on top of the world and the rush of happiness I experienced was so pure.  We moved our way along the ridge from peak to peak and it was like you weren't even hiking anymore as there was so much beauty to take in.  Although it looks like we were cold, we were not.  The wind was very mild, but it was a bit chilly.  I remember walking along the ridge thinking, "I just don't want this to ever end!!"  Here we are along the ridge and and Peak 2, Mount Lincoln.

This is  a cairn I built asking everyone to pick out a rock to add to it.  We left our mark!

Lila and Hank taking it all in.

Peak Number 2!!  Mount Lincoln.

Peak Number 2!!

 And then onto to Mt. Lafayette...THE final peak of the day!!  It is amazing how close it looks and how long it actually gets to get there, but the high of being on top of the world just pulsed on and adrenaline was my best friend!!  I have included so many pictures because it is hard to just choose a few.  And the pictures don't even show it!!

Mt Lafayette Marker!  WE MADE IT!!  WAHOOOOOO!!!!

Peak Number 3!!  Mount Lafayette!!

Lila and Hank on top of Lafayette!!

Jeff and I on top of Lafayette!!

 And thus we begin our ascent down Lafayette to Greenleaf hut for the night.  And as my iphone died at this point, I ran out of water and the day began to turn a bit cooler we started our way down, down, down.  This, for me was the longest part of the day.  I had had my 3 hour high and was now looking forward to getting to the hut and resting my weary bones.  It took us much longer to come down and the hard part is that the hut is so close it looks like you can touch it.  But it is quite far as you traverse one knoll and then another and then a final upward part to arrive.  Arriving was heaven, and it was 5:30 and dinner was served promptly at 6.  We chose our bunk room, not hard to do as on this Sunday night in September they only had 16 guests to arrive when full capacity is 48!  So we had a bunk room to ourselves and dinner was hot and delicious and we spent our night playing scrabble, sipping red wine and whiskey until it was lights out at the cabin at 9am.  We had our first couples sleepover and woke up early to the sound of a beautiful voice accompanied by the ukulele at 6:30 am announcing breakfast was to be served at 7.  We ate another delicious meal and hit the trail home at about 9.  It took us about 3 plus hours to get down as we took our time and took advantage of every gorgeous view along the way.  We talked and sang and marveled again at the weather and how we lucked out with THE most perfect September weather!!

And so I leave this post thinking about my next hike and where to go and what my next adventure will entail.  I am hooked.  I am hooked to the views, I am hooked to being "unhooked" and being out in the wilderness to remind myself that life is only as complicated as we make it...and boy do I do a good job at that!!  I thought this was going to be something to check of my imaginary bucket list, but I think it has more to do with thinking about how I want to spend the rest of my life.

Much of my purpose in life has been trying to make this world a better place for us all...particularly in the realm of education.  And while is has always been my life's work...I see that work shifting.  The shift is internal as I consider not how I can "fix" everything, but how I can make and take the time to enjoy the beauty that is all around us each and every day.  I am done trying to fix for now.  It is too hard and too frustrating.  If only it was as easy as climbing a mountain and the rewards as rewarding.  But for now I leave this lengthy post elated to have gone and done and perhaps having rediscovered that adventurous part of myself that got lost in marriage, motherhood and responsibility...all self-imposed I realize!!!!  She is still there and I feel her growing and needing more and I love to have her back.   Life is short.  Let's do this!